Confession: I am being a not good employee today and have been looking at all of my wonderful friends (and their friends) blogs all morning.. my rationalization is that it's Friday and I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing.. phone is on.. checking in patients.. etc. The point is.. I love blogs! I love that they can become such a display of your personality and I love that you can write. I love writing. It has always been my outlet.
Anyway...on a spiritual note.. something I think about on a daily basis since moving to California is how much it has strengthened my testimony. I think for this time in my life it was about the best thing that ever happened to me. Every day, I am surrounded by people who live for a different purpose than I do; most of them don't know what that purpose is. It has been so interesting to be a minority in every since of the word. ( I am one of like three white people at work and there is only one other mormon out of like 50 employees) On a daily basis, I get asked about my beliefs. Where did you learn spanish (the mission talk) Why would you chose to go to Guatemala.. You got married soo young... wait, you didn't have sex til I got married?! You want HOW many kids? Who is that Joseph Smith guy? Are Mormons Christian? What cofee do you want from Starbucks? Questions about Sunday, alcohol, the bible, church, and just basic life happiness. All around me, I see people how are missing something in their lives. It has been a priviledged to work here, I have been so welcomed and accepted. People have been friendly and extremely helpful. I have talked to them and gotten to know them.. and that's when I see their unhappiness. Family problems, relationship problems, depression, lost kids, deaths. So so many problems.. with nowhere to turn. I admire them. I don't think I could go on living the lives that some of them do without the knowledge of the gospel. I think I am too weak. I would want to give up or wonder what it was all for. It is our knowledge that brings us happiness. We know what the trials are for! We know where they come from! We know who to turn to! We know what marriage and families are about!
I have never loved being with "a gathering of Saints" more in my life. To walk into a packed chapel or endowement session and feel the strength of those members who are in the world and not of it is inspiring. I have never wanted more to be a good example, so replace fear or being unaccepted with faith. It is a scary thing being different. At the same time, I am proud. Proud and humbled simultaneously. Proud to be part of this marvelous work. Humbled by the responsibility I have to be a "light on the hill."
No comments:
Post a Comment