What I want to be when I grow up..

When I was younger, I never had a niche.. that thing I was really good at.  People would tell me what was important was being kind or obedient or whatever else, but it bothered me nonetheless that whenever I would look at charms for a bracelet or things to decorate my room or nick knacks to hang on my rearview mirror, I sort through basketballs, ballerinas and pianos, pick them up, and realize I didn’t have a real connection to any of them.  I had played basketball, practiced danced and taken piano lessons, but I hadn’t put my heart into any of them.  I felt I was talent-less.

Now, roughly 10 years later, I am faced with the same thing.  I have realized in my older age that being able to dance or play basketball aren’t necessarily the keys to happiness, but I still have a desire to excel, to have a niche, something I’m really good at.  Here’s my problem.  I want to do everything…

I want to be crafty.  Like really crafty.  Etsy status crafty.  I want to be one of those people with the fancy schmanshy blogs that has advertising and is oozing with creativity.  I want to be clever and think up all these cute, frugal, beautiful things to do with my apartment.

I want to be fashionable.  Uniquely fashionable.  Not fashion that revolves around brand names and fashion week but a special fashion all my own that is both chic and inexpensive. I want it to be something that fits my personality that I can grow and develop.

I want to be into photography.  I want to have an expensive camera with lots of lenses and spend my days studying the way light falls on a flower or the shadows in casts on the face of a stranger.  I want to take beautiful pictures of beautiful things, everything from nature to people to delicious food. 

I want to learn about everything.  Art, science, history, music, dance, you name it. Then I want to experience it.  I want to be able to go into an art museum and know something, understand the artist behind the art.  I want to travel THE WORLD and know what I am looking at, it’s history and what it means.  I want to listen to beautiful music and have an appreciation for the composure, watch moving dancing and be moved by its soul. 

I want to develop my art skills.  Learn to paint and sew and pottery.  I want to take community classes and make beautiful things. 

I want to be a health nut and shop at only Trader Joes and farmers markets.  I want to grow a garden, live off of the land, and become a cooker of delicious, healthy food.

Speaking of health, I want to be really active.  I want to raise an active family and do things like races and do relays and Ragnar.  I want to bike and hike and back pack and camp.  I want to raise my family to have an appreciation for nature and the beautiful country we live in.  I want to stay healthy so that I can keep up with my children and grandchildren. 

These are all just the temporal things; I want to do so much more with my life.  But this is enough for one post. 

I love that I live in a place that has so much opportunity and variety.  The options are endless. I can do whatever I want.  Be whoever I want to be.  How grateful I am that I live in a place filled with beauty and happiness that I can enjoy and be a part of.  And even if I may not be the perfect anything, I guess it’s not so bad to try a little bit of everything.